Welcome & Purpose
This reading club exists to create a space for dialogue as an art form. We listen with the “mind’s ear,” test ideas against lived reality, and carry insights into daily life. This is not about finishing books or proving our points, it’s learning and expanding our context, but more importantly it is about opening our ability to see as others see, to get our of our own heads and think together, to master the art of dialectic, real listening, and expanding how we are even capable of seeing and experiencing the world.
How We Convene
We gather for our main discussion group once a month on the second Thursday, at 6 pm. Pacific time. Meetings are about two hours, with a 30 minute window prior for anyone who needs to catch up on the reading.
We meet in person, and via Discord stage. The hybrid format is managed by the active speaker holding the proverbial conch.
Other opportunities are also available for deeper conversations around the reading, and subject matter related to the current reading, including read-along and workshop style events.
The Art of Dialogue
We dip our toes into several dialogue practices that the group is welcome to discuss and explore further in sessions and workshops. These include: Socratic Dialectic, Martin Buber’s I-Thou, Bohmian Dialogue, The Circle Process, World Cafe Method, Appreciate Inquiry, and Open Space Technology.
Here are a few short rules of thumb we abide by:
- Keep it brief. Short contributions stimulate dialectic. Your points don’t have to be comprehensive and perfect.
- Stay open to wild ideas. Explore freely. Avoid avoidance.
- Questions always have priority. Further, it’s everyone’s obligation to themselves and the group to ask when something is unclear to them.
- Expect chaos, especially when starting new book, bringing in new members, or trying something new.
- Avoid “agreeing to disagree,” a stress point or disagreement is an opportunity for deeper understanding.
- Everyone’s job is to listen. Seek first to understand.
- Follow the argument wherever it leads. Try not to get hung up or circle back (although this is ok if something is unclear).
- Listen toward friendship! Give each other the benefit of the doubt, and try to see the best in each other.
- When offering insights or thoughts, try to speak from/to lived experience. When complimenting, criticizing, or riffing off others’ thoughts, try to speak ‘non-attributively,’ about them.
- Most importantly, have fun!
Living Agreements
Presence
- Phones down / tabs closed during dialogue blocks.
- Arrive fully and be attentive.
Curiosity & Respect
- Story before stance: lead with a lived example.
- Ask a clarifying question before a counterpoint.
- Name the shift: if your view changes, say it out loud.
- Equalize status: use first names, rotate facilitators, and avoid degree/job signaling.
Rhythm & Flow
- Aim for about ~60–90 seconds per speaking turn.
- The group/timekeeper may gently cut in with a question if energy dips.
- Pass the conch! Invite quieter voices, or those with different views to reply to you. Or, aim to set the ball on the ‘T’ for someone else to hit a home run.
Care & Courage
- Play the unofficial ‘Ladies & Gentlemen’s Game.’ Try to serve a neighbor first, or online, uplift someone in chat randomly with a compliment or friendly gesture.
- Advocate for yourself and others. Speak up when something feels off, unclear, or alive for you. We respect the speaker, but revere and feel it necessary to acknowledge these energies. Further, the unspoken request for clarity not only diminishes the self-respect of the one needing clarification, but the speaker as well, as it renders their sharing a lost waste on the listener.
Flow of the Gathering
(General Flow — ~90-120 minutes)
0. Pregathering (-0:30–0:00)
1. Arrival & Threshold (0:00–0:10)
- Gentle welcome music, settling, short silence, or breath.
- Check-in: One sentence or word share for how you’re arriving.
- Clearing energy cleanse share for anyone experiencing a barrier to listening/presence & invitation to drop it at the door.
- Host places the current book in the middle of the circle and lights the candle, signifying the start of the gathering.
2. Context & Connection (0:10–0:25)
- Host recaps purpose and theme.
- Everyone shares a moment, image, or insight from the reading.
Prompts: “What moved or unsettled you?” “What are you seeing differently?”
3. Dialogue Block (0:25–1:00+)
- Share and converse away. This is where the magic happens.
4. Integration & Harvest (1:00–1:20)
- Reflect: “What tensions or insights from the conversation stood out?”
- Recorder harvests notes.
- Invite big takeaways/insights from the conversation itself.
- Invite shares for how these could to carry into life.
5. Next Steps & Closing (1:20–1:30)
- Announcements: next date, reading, voting, etc.
Roles of Empowerment
- Host / Convener: Frames purpose, sets and enforces norms, equalizes status, and protects both attention and psychological safety (“the freedom to say anything”).
- Discord Community Manager: Oversees virtual setup and chat, invites speakers, and bridges in-person and online participants.
- Harvester / Recorder: Captures insights and key takeaways, sharing them afterward in Discord or our private FB group.
- The Stewardship Circle is a rotating group of members who temporarily step into a light coordination role to ensure our gatherings and our group stays focused on dialogue. They handle practical tasks like compiling book shortlists, managing the voting, making announcements—to lead, but to serve by making things easier for the rest of the members. Decisions are made transparently, and the roles shift as new members step up and down.
Authority here is gentle: protect attention, invite voices, and keep the circle aligned with our purpose.
Bringing Others into the Fold
- Invite those who help fulfill the purpose; avoid obligation invites that dilute the space.
- Mix perspectives that sharpen inquiry while maintaining safety and care.
- Aim for diversity—respecting different worldviews enriches dialogue.
- Consider biases when inviting; balance familiar voices with fresh ones.
Hospitality, Food, & Drink
Food & drinks will be available for the in-person gathering. Snacks & beverages to share with the group are also welcome.
Privacy & Exhibitionist Policy
- Recording of dialogue blocks by default, but all recording kept private for group members (and will not be fed into AI).
- Photos/screenshots of materials are okay; no sharing of personal information, sensitive shares, or participant photos shared publicly without consent.
- Sharing outside the group must anonymize personal stories unless explicit permission is given.
- Any special recording requires group opt-in at opening/closing.
How We Choose What to Read
Each month, the host and stewardship circle compile a shortlist of 6–8 books, balancing foundational, adjacent, and experimental voices. We only commit to the current book and the next selection.
Any member may suggest a book with: Title & Author, a brief “why now,” statement, a short excerpt (optional), and quick note on why it’s recommended and/or how it fits our purpose. This makes it easier for the rest of the group to decide what to vote on. We do ranked-choice vote via rcv123.org (48-hour window). Results are emailed and posted in Discord/Facebook announcements.
Learning Together
- Harvest: Gathering of takeaways, insights, top tensions, memorable stories, and applications. All the session recordings and summaries will be available to members.
- Trends: Share participation and return data quarterly.
- Pulse Checks: periodically on the community hubs to poll for feedback.
- The Stewardship Circle reviews these insights and shares key findings with the group to evolve our practice.
Conduct & Non-negotiables
- Challenge the idea, care about the person.
- No toleration for malice, harassment, abuse, or hate speech in the group.
- We encourage and employ conflict resolution, but if everyone else in the group agrees that someone is poisoning the group, we will protect the group.
Reviewing and Evolving This Charter
Quarterly reviews of charter, norms, and accessibility will be done by a stewardship circle.
This is a living accord subject to constant evolution and mutation. All members are welcome to bring up concerns, recommendations, ideas, and the like, but much of this unfolds organically during meetings.
If something comes up and it’s worth noting, make sure it gets noted!
Stringfellow Barr’s ‘Notes on Dialogue’
A foundational text for our community’s approach to dialogue.